Finding My Religion

It’s been a few weeks since my last attempt to hurt myself and going back into treatment and I’m still recovering from all of my past attempts to hurt myself and going into treatment FOUR TIMES! i thought my problems with depression i thing religion was scaring me into suicide i happen to become a Christian 6 months before my 3rd attempt I’d gone to church and youth group but in November i had gone with my youth group on a overnight trip to Columbus Ohio and what the speaker said made me question my beliefs afterwards i couldn’t eat i ended up crying in the bathroom for a long time afterward we went to the bowling i also cried in the bathrooms there by the time i got home the same morning i was tired and didn’t want to talk then two months later I’m in my room trying to slit my wrist with a crummy steak knife and crying because god wasn’t helping me after a few months away from church i went back a few weeks later i was at it again now this time it was after youth group not only that my cousin was trying to convince me into being a JW he sent me books and WT’s and ask me to come to the memorial with him and to shut him up i went i told my mom when i had a family session at the hospital that he was bullying me into it i know what JW’s are but i don’t want to hurt my family members who are JW’s seriously i need to figure out what should be my beliefs now i want a religion that’s calming and doesn’t scare me oh wait there is one its Buddhism i don’t think all religions are scary i need one that doesn’t hurt me and doesn’t freak my parents out and myself, WATCH THIS SPACE Y’ALL!

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